Tekstschrijver voor Trump

Ik heb nu al zo vaak naar Trump zitten kijken (meestal via CNN) dat ik zo onderhand een perfecte speech voor hem uit mijn mouw kan schudden. Zonder de akelige opmerkingen dan, die mag hij uit zijn eigen mouw blijven schudden.

Een voorbeeldje, laten we zeggen dat hij deze week de autoindustrie in Amerika weer op gang wil krijgen:

“You know what, I think that american cars are the greatest cars in the world, fantastic cars, the best in the world. We need to reopen the car industry and begin creating more jobs like I have done in the last few years, more jobs created than ever before in american history. I think it is unprecedented. No president in the entire history of the United States has created more jobs. The american economy is the strongest in the world and will be even better than before the corona crisis. I just talked to Ed from Chrysler, a great guy, doing a great job, fantastic job, and I like him and he likes me and we had a wonderful conversation the other day. He thanked me for what I’m doing for our country and for the american citizen, unlike some of the others, democrats for the most part. We are going to reopen the car industry this week and it will be safe to work. We are way ahead of this corona virus, mainly because of my decision to close the borders with China, which was my decision entirely. And because of a lot of testing, no other country in the entire world has done as much testing as we have. It’s unbelievable really, the world has never seen anything like it. And I don’t care what those fake news reporters are saying, they call it criticism, it’s not. I’m told that president Lincoln also got a lot of criticism in his days… “

En zo kan ik nog wel uren doorgaan. Het is alsof je een programmaatje op je computer hebt dat automatisch gedichten voor je kan schrijven, zoals met Sinterklaasgedichten. Je gooit er wat woorden in die je wilt gebruiken en het programma produceert oneindig veel variaties van hetzelfde.

Afbeelding van Lisette Brodey